job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
[lawyer voice] the prosecution makes a compelling argument, but have you considered this *puts middle finger up*
I wonder if anybody’s actually had feelings for me, like actually got upset or mad over little things I did and got jealous and confused over me and thought about me on a regular basis. I feel like I’m the only person that ever really cares about anyone and that nobody’s ever felt that way for me.
One time, I took more pills than I can remember and accepted I’d be dead within the hour. Don’t ever call me weak.
Hey haha maybe private conversations are private for a reason idk man haha
If you have the person you really want. You are one lucky fucker